Did you know that you can train a cat to use a toilet? It’s a real thing, and real cats who have brains can do this; they don’t even need opposable thumbs or current issues of National Geographic. They are just fine with back issues.
I’m thinking about doing this with my cat, but given our recent interactions, it will just give him one more reason to sit on my head. Here are his other reasons: he’s hungry, or I’m asleep, or it’s less than 86.5 degrees outside, or I’m breathing.
But let’s be honest, there’s really only one natural litter box, and it happens to be “the earth.” While I do sometimes feel in my heart that cats would be happier (and our personal waste would be less) if they were just allowed to roam free about the neighborhood, many neighbors would highly disagree. Mountain lions around here, on the other hand, have engaged in a sign-waving “Free the House Cats” protest on street corners.
It isn’t going very well. Mountain lions have terrible handwriting.
I’m not convinced that all house cats want to be outside. My friend has two cats who are allowed to do anything they want, including feasting on all the butterflies they can find in the backyard, but all they do is sit around in the sunroom, drinking tea and reading the newspaper while commenting on current events.