Today’s post is brought to you by the beautifully humble Erin Hill of Nirvana Mamma. Her blog is devoted to one of the most important ideas – ever: Following your bliss.
Since she’s a shiny, happy expert on the subject, I asked her recently how she thought following your bliss ties into staying young and being attractive. And she was guilted kind enough to bring this post to us. Be sure to show her some love in the comments, and then visit her blog for more groovy lovin’.
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Want to Be Smokin’ Hot? Find Your Passion!
What makes someone attractive to you? I know you’re envisioning Brad Pitt, George Clooney, or that vampire from…what’s that movie called? Oh, yeah. Twilight.
Attractiveness IS all about the physical: Brad Pitt’s eyes, George Clooney’s mischievous grin (yummy stuff!). If someone is physically good looking, they’re physically good looking, no doubt about it – but, dare I say it?
I’m NOT attracted to Brad or George or that vampire guy, even though they’re insanely attractive.
Finding someone attractive is not the same as being attracted to them. How many good looking guys have you known that didn’t light your fire? And how many less-than-perfect-looking guys have you known that literally blew you away with their super hotness – they could walk into the room and cause every groovy little cell in your body to become super charged by some cosmic energy source, like a mega magnet pulled the two of you together.
Now, that’s ATTRACTION–soul-stirring, I-need-you-right-now kind of stuff. I don’t know about you, but that’s the kind of attraction that fascinates me.
I just asked my awesome Twitter followers what makes them REALLY attracted to someone and they tweeted back some obvious traits like being good looking, smart, friendly, caring, genuine, adventurous, open-minded, respectful, and funny. But, some of my super smart followers came up with a few not-so-obvious traits like being confident, positive, independent, and mysterious.
What Really Attracts Us to Others?
It is one of the great mysteries of life, and I’m not going to pretend that I have the definitive answer, but, I can tell you what I think makes every person, good looking or not, MORE attractive to others: Passion.
Not sexy-type passion (although that IS hot stuff), but passion for life. A person with a purpose, who knows what they want in life and goes after it, naturally attracts others. These people stand out as being more confident, positive, independent, and, yes, a bit mysterious, because most of us can’t quite figure out why we’re so attracted to them.
Wish you were one of those people?
How Can You Be More Attractive?
Find your passion and follow it. Seems so simple, but most people have no idea how to do it, and the easiest way is to ask yourself one question:
What excites you enough to want to share it with the world?
Really.
What excites you? What lights a fire under you? And before you start thinking of all the reasons why you can’t do whatever that is, grab a piece of paper and write it down. And while you’re at it, write down one step you can take today to start following your passion.
I bet you just got a bit more excited by doing that exercise, and a bit more confident, positive, independent, mysterious – and definitely more attractive. Think of how hot you’ll be if you do that every day.
What is your passion? Please comment and let me know.
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Erin Hill is all about following her bliss and inspiring you to follow yours. She muses about personal development, parenting, blogging, and all things groovy on her blog Nirvana Mamma.
The Best of Crunchy Betty (So Far)
Erin…great post!I guess i will be attracted to a guy if he is honest, charming and funny!!
Great post and great topic! I have always found self-assurance to be very attractive in a man. Also, though it may sound weird, I find responsible men very sexy. It all fits very well with your description of passion. Superficial good looks are so… superficial! Ultimately it’s what’s inside, the stuff they’re (and we’re) made of, that matters.
It’s so true, yo. SO true.
The good looks only get you so far. And they stop being soooo good when you have to wake up to them every. single. morning.
Give me a man with a wicked sense of humor over a Ralph Lauren model any day. Rrowr.
I LOVE this post! It is such a great reminder of what really matters not just in attraction but in life. Find what you love and do it! For me, music is a passion and any day with music is a little better.
I’m so glad you liked my post! Music is like breath to me, too. If I’m having a tough day, I throw on some uplifting music and I swear it makes all the difference. Music helps me work through difficult feelings, it helps me find confidence, and it just plain moves my soul. I couldn’t live a day without it.
I love the distinction you make between physical attractiveness and soul stirring attraction. Powerful stuff.
Yah gotta love the eye-candy, but woman cannot live on candy alone.
Yes, eye candy is good, but soul candy is WAY better. There is a VERY big difference between the two.
And? The best is when you get a little bit of both 😉
@Nirvana girlllllllllllll I got a long hot list but in the interest of self preservation I shall not share (unless I come up with an alias that doesn’t have my photo attached to it ha ha)
LOL! Good idea about coming up with an alias. I may just have to do that!
For me it’s all about the eyes, voice and passion. The rest? Like icing on the cake; good occasionally, sometimes sickeningly sweet 😉
I totally think voice is underrated. Definitely. And so is passion. I mean, show me ANY man that knows what he wants in life, goes for it, and as long as he’s helping others in some way – I’m a goner. It’s just so sexy to me.
People are either visual, auditory or kinesthetic which would show up in how they respond to this post. It’s a fascinating area to study!
Don’t get me started on the voice! It makes all the difference for me. One time when I was doing the online dating thing, I turned down a chance to meet a guy because he sounded like a cartoon character! I thought to myself, “I am not going to want to hear that voice in my bed or first thing in the morning!” Made it easy to say no 😉
OH, my gosh, Sandi. I can’t believe you turned him down based on voice. Well, I guess I can. I’m the same way with passion. If a guy doesn’t want something in life, it’s a turn off for me. I’m a people watcher – people and how they relate to eachother fascinate me. So your point on people being visual, auditory or kinesthetic is very interesting. You know what else is completely fascinating? Body language. Now, that is fun to watch. It’s pretty much impossible to lie with body language.
I waited till I was 46 to get married and I simply couldn’t imagine spending the rest of my life with someone who sounded like a cartoon character. It was more compassionate I think to say no right off the bat and not go down that road.
Here’s the thing about that situation – I was very clear on what I wanted. Not like a superficial list of traits, but more like what you talk about in your post.
The irony or perhaps the gift? I listen to people for a living!
This is totally off-topic, but I loved that you brought up the visual/auditory/kinesthetic thing!
I used to write for this client that did a LOT of new spirituality training, EFT, etc. Anyway, he made me take the test to see which I was, and I was highly auditory.
BUT, and this is the part that confuses me, I cannot do or process ANYTHING else (e.g., I cannot write or read) if there’s music or television (or motorcycles outside) going on. I also have a hard time processing information on audio – like an audio book – if I’m trying to do something else like cooking or cleaning.
What is up with that?
Needless to say, this means my men have had VERY soothing, sexy voices. And it wasn’t until JUST NOW that I realized they were all like that! Now I know why.
This is awesome.
I meant my aside was off-topic – not your bringing up the AVK! Just realized that sounded funny. Sorry!
I know, cool right? I’m totally the same, highly auditory when I first did the assessment. I’ve got a quickie assessment I can share if anyone wants; just email me!
I’ve spent 10 years working mostly on the phone and it seems like my tolerance for NOISE has decreased a lot! Sometimes my husband will come home and blast the stereo and it totally throws me off, where as when I was in my 20’s I could listen to music and work, etc.
Our brains are so fascinating, aren’t they? When you start to know this stuff, life makes a lot more sense. Kind of like how you realized all your men have had similar voices.
I’m the same way! I can’t process anything by ear, and if the radio or t.v. is on, I can’t focus on anything else either. In school, I would zone out in every class – but thank goodness I figured out that I was a visual learner and compensated that way.
Oh for the attractive man, I was thinking more of like…Patrick Dempsey or Denzel Washington or Idris Elba….don’t stop me now!
(hope my husband doesn’t stumble on this one day…in case he does I’m the Michelle from New Jersey, not New York: -)
Ha! I won’t tell – Michelle from New Jersey: Yes, MCDreamy is on my HOT list as well as the very fabulous Denzel, and some others most people wouldn’t consider HOT because they’re just so passionate about something.
Such perfect advice.
How many times have we drudged our way through something and felt like the rest of us was dragged down accordingly. When I am slogging through something I hate I feel slow, dim, flat. As opposed to when I’m hugely excited about something and I feel invincible, vibrant and, well, let’s face it…damned hot.
We don’t always get to choose, but choices are ours more often than we thing. We need to take advantage.
Lori: Thank you so much for your awesome comment. It’s so true that feeling vibrant, and happy, and excited makes us more attractive – and conversely – the more stuck and down we feel, the more we push others away. I’m off to check out your blog! Did I mention I think blogging is a perfect way to follow your passion? =)