Let’s talk about trust.
And money.
And stuff.
In the olden days of yore, money served one purpose: To exchange your time for goods or services. It was pretty honest, you know? “Hey, Octavius, can I buy that gold filigree toga from you?” “Sure, Romulus! I need 10 gold pieces. And here’s your toga. Great to see you, bro.”
It’s not that simple these days, really. Instead of exchanging your hard-earned money for goods and services (if you’re buying mainstream), you’re exchanging your hard-earned money for promises and dreams, labels and status, and, frankly, a really tenuous sense of trust. Deep down in your heart, you know you really don’t trust that the anti-aging cream is going to make you look like a 20-year-old again. But the commercials are so pretty and shiny. And maybe a miracle will happen, just to you. Maybe.
And that tenuous sense of trust, so very, very often is broken, as so many people expressed in the confusing olive oil situation.
You have no idea where to turn for food and products that are made and produced with integrity. And that’s what you want to exchange your hard-earned money for. Not plastic and empty promises.
We’re fatigued by this, you know? Most people would rather just not think about it, because it really is so very hard to think about. I’m not being condescending. When you have other people to tell you what you should think and feel about their products, it’s easier just to go with it because you have other things you could be doing.
But here’s where it becomes really confusing.
If you decide to go out on your own and start making your own skincare and household products, you’re in new, uncharted territory. You’re at it alone, just you and your ingredients. It feels foreign and scary.
And sometimes things don’t work for you. Sometimes things don’t work for you. So who gets the blame then? It’s different, isn’t it? You can blame the recipe, or you can blame me the blogger or the author. But ultimately, the responsibility of your own health and happiness lies squarely on you.
(By the way, this is a much more gratifying position to be in, if you haven’t experienced it yet.)
You’ve found an idea for something online, you toil over it, and it doesn’t work for you. So who do you trust now?
Stick with me, because there’s one more point I want to make.
We’ve all been conditioned, our entire lives, to stop trusting. Through deceptive advertising, false promises, and a shadowy cultural belief that “different” means “bad.” We’ve been taught that we cannot trust each other, because hello, nightly news and “uneducated opinions.” We’re told that we cannot trust nature to heal and cure us – and that thinking it will is crazy talk.
But when you turn around and look at the track record of many pharmaceuticals, nearly all factory farmed food, and most skincare products and … well … the state of just about anything corporately produced, you know you cannot trust that, either.
It’s complete and utter chaos in your mind at this point. Until you find the still, small voice inside.
The voice that says “Trust yourself.”
Trust that you’re going to make choices that work and choices that don’t work. Trust that you’re going to buy olive oil sometimes and be hoodwinked. And trust that your ability to refine and make different choices next time will be strengthened by this.
I write all of this as a preface to this last thought:
Everything serves a purpose. The smoke and mirror of unscrupulous marketing has led us into a very dark gray area where we don’t think we can trust anyone. This is good.
Because now, and only now, can we start to trust ourselves in a way human beings haven’t been able to trust themselves in a long time, if ever. Now we get to emerge from the fog and rediscover that it’s not corporations we should trust, but authentic people. That it’s not lofty, mass-marketed promises that we should trust, but our own ability to get dirty, make mistakes, and solve our own problems. And that we can question everything, pay attention and learn as much as possible, and know – fully and deeply – that when it comes down to it, the best thing to trust is our own experience.
Not what other people tell us to think. Or feel. Or buy. Or do.
But our very own food-splattered, oil-covered, joyous experience. Our own experiential connections with other human beings who have integrity and a desire to exchange their authentic goods for our hard-earned money.
And then we share that experience, we connect, because someone else might just trust it enough to try it themselves.
And that, right there, is how we change the world.
Your Winning Homemade Glass Cleaner – Now With Video
So true. So true.
Beautiful and profound, yet simple. I love it.
wouldn’t it be wonderful…..?
Magical magical words, as always, Betty!
One of my favorite quotes goes:
When there is light in the soul, there will be beauty in the person.
When there is beauty in the person, there is harmony in the house.
When there is harmony in the house, there will be order in the nation.
When there is order in the nation there will be peace in the world.
And it all starts with a light in the heart – that’s Crunchy Betty, that’s all our little steps, big steps, stuff-ups and start agains, our passion and our determination – a light in the heart, peace in the world!
This is so on point. Sometimes we need a little encouragement to trust in ourselves.
I always connect with your posts and and am extremely grateful for folks like yourself, who do the experimentation with DIY products and then freely share the the recipes. I look forward to seeing “Crunchy Betty” in my new e-mail.
I was nodding all the way from the first till the last sentence! Thank you for the inspirational post!
Love!
I really like your comment: ” … a shadowy cultural belief that “difficult” means “bad”.” That is so true! I believe it’s partner is the belief that “simple” means “easy”. Thank you for your inspirational words.
Great post! I feel the same but when I’ve tried to explain what I mean it comes out all incoherent. I’ll just link to your post next time.
Woot-woot! Thanks for affirming what I and so many others are testing out, trust and intuition.
I won’t say any more because you said it so well.
Crunchy Betty, you ROCK!
A great article and so true. One thing I have always taught my children is to trust your instincts, to trust your gut. And it really comes down to that in a time where we are overwhelmed by GMO food, processed foods, prescription drugs and other unhealthy lifestyle habits and the misinformation that goes along with it. I think the barter system, midwifery, holistic healing and organic eating is a way to initiate change in a positive and healthy way.
Very inspirational! I think it’s also important that we should know it’s okay that we don’t all look like we are 20 years old when we aren’t, that we should be okay with ourselves the way we are. That we are pretty and awesome without having to buy into the mentality that makes us want to buy the miracle cream and then think that something is wrong with us if that miracle doesn’t happen. Also, I think making your own products is very empowering.
good stuff.
YEAH…LOVED THIS 🙂 🙂 🙂 Thank you 😉 🙂 Love and hugs from the ocean shores of California, Heather 🙂
I totally have a crunchy woman crush on you. I love this.
I am living your blog! I’m new, so nice to meet you. By the way… I’m going to try out the Alvin Corn today! I appreciate your perspective and look forward to reading other posts of yours. Happy Wednesday! 😀
Uh lol, loving. If there is a home remedy for dumb auto-correct that would be great! :-O
Beautifully written… and exactly how I feel too. Question everything, keep an open mind, and seek out the truth.
You go, girl.
Betty, thank you so much for this article. Your article is confirmation from the Universe in the form of (you) that I am on the right path. Just yesterday I composed a short introduction and invitation to experience my body products, which I am posting on facebook. In the first sentance I stated “I have made the decision to trust, and have confidence in my knowledge of using essential oils, to create my own line of all natural body products.” It was so empowering to make that statement. There is no way that we can go wrong if we trust ourselves. Call it intuition or the still small voice, it is always there for us we just have to remember and KNOW that this is truth, and if we are paying attention…seconds, minutes, hours or days later, the Universe will give us a thumbs up to let us know that we are on the right path.
This is wonderful, Betty. And we are beginning to embrace this in a “buy local”/”smaller is best” way. It’s a lot easier to pretend the customers aren’t real human beings when you’re sitting in a huge office in a multi-national corporation and planning your next purchase of a Tahitian island or gold toilet or something. (I am beginning to think that many in this “high status class” actually have complete contempt for the rest of us–we are seeing it every day!. It’s a lot harder to look your neighbor in the eye and deceive them–especially when your kids go to the same school, you use the same mechanic, etc. We need transparency everywhere–buy small, buy local, buy from who you can actually send an e-mail to and they’ll answer you–in person.
Eloquently written! <3
It is totally liberating to give the finger to commercial cleaners, beauty products, hair care, etc. Almost as liberating as giving it to my ex-husband… but that’s a whole different coconut to crack. I feel so much more in control of my own life and I take a lot more pride in my household and the things I make. This is a great place to find and share ideas and support each other. Thanks again for spreading the crunchiness!
Cheers!
Amanda 🙂
You kick so much ass, it’s not even funny! 🙂 Love you and your perspective.
Head on. Somewhere long ago people forgot to trust themselves and each other. The whole chicken and egg syndrome, which came first? This is really not so important – what is important however, is that we can learn once again that trust is important and that it must come from within. Once we believe that we (ourselves) can be honest, honesty and others true to themselves will be attracted to us.
I have been saying the same thing for years, and you said it beautifully. Well done.
Yes. This.
In my constant attempt to grow up, I keep coming back to my teacher’s mantra when she has a sobbing soprano in her office: What is simple is not always easy; what is natural is not always habit.
I like that it applies to taking care of myself as much as to untensing my jaw and tongue. It all boils down to trust: trust that if I let go and do something different it won’t make the world collapse. It might not work, but it will be worth simply giving it a try.
You are a wise woman! So many times people just blindly follow the so called “experts” about everything of real value in there lives. We are amazing beings with amazing bodies and minds if we just get rid of all the toxins in our lives (emotional, food, cosmetics,cleaners…). Trusting that I am able to make great choices for myself and family has led us to eat healthy, home birth, home education, organic gardening, alternative healthcare, and many other choices that make our lives better. We are not all called to walk the same path. Be sure you are not walking the path that someone else has decided for you, but rather the one you were meant to tread. Thanks for your wonderful work, you have given me information that helps my family on a daily basis!
Beautifully, beautifully written. This is such a frustrating thing for me, thank you for putting it in such eloquent words. I’d love to be completely self sufficient…make my own beauty products, grow our own food, make our clothing…but the deeper you get into the rabbit hole, the harder it gets. At what point do I have to start weaving my own cloth? What do we do in the winter when we can’t grow our own food? I’m not ready to go full-out pioneer, but I hate not knowing what nasty is in what the store is shilling at me!
So from now on I am coming to your site when the lure of new product has me in it’s grips. The thing about when I head to my kitchen to test out an idea is that the product is adjustable. You can a little of this, a little of that, and usually I can adjust it. You can’t do that with a $20 jar of miracle skin cream that you bought at the store. I came across your thoughts on coconut oil and just wanted you to know that I am having good results with Spectrum Organic Unrefined Coconut Oil and use on my face down to my feet. It also works as a deodorant, bath oil, and my eyelashes are super long with using a little on them with a clean masacra wand and an eyelash curler. And you are right, when I trust myself and take the time to use the coconut oil, I feel so much better and honestly think I look better than with all the chemical infused lotions, etc. Keep up the good work.
You are dead right, m’lovely. I’m having the same discovery this week, regarding having to experience a lot of hurt to learn how to heal it in myself and in others. Realising this, learning to trust myself, it’s a beautiful thing.
You have the right attitude. 🙂 Hugs from Copenhagen