There’s a child outside my window who’s been crying for the last 10 minutes while her mother says, “Just be quiet” eighty-thousand times.
Waaa. “Just be quiet.” Waaaaaah! “HUSH!” Waaaaaaaicecream!
There’s a lesson in this conveniently-timed crying spell.
(Thank you, Universe, for coincidences.)
The lesson is this: When you’re in a bad mood, you can’t tell yourself to just be quiet. Like that kid out there who just freakin’ wants an ice cream cone, telling yourself to shut up when you’re upset–even if it’s for no discernible reason–never works.
You have to distract yourself.
You have to reset your mojo. You have to give yourself something–even if it’s not the gosh-darned chocolate chip ice cream cone–to make it all better.
If the mom would just say, “Honey, let’s talk about the fun we had yesterday when we went to the zoo. Remember the monkeys throwing poop?” Distracted kid = happy kid.
Distract yourself from the bad mood, and you leave room for the good mood to shine through.
And I know a little something about resetting yourself into a good mood.
Why I’m Qualified to Give You Mood Advice
This may come as a shock to you (and I’m prepared to offer counseling if you’re traumatized by this announcement), but I’m not always the most easy-breezy, happy-go-lucky person on the block.
In fact, until a few years ago, my default mood fell somewhere between ennui and wonder how much longer until I get bed sores.
I’ve had to do a LOT of work on myself in order to maintain a baseline of finding-humor-in-everything peacefulness.
And I still falter. I still have bad days. I still have bad weeks. But I’ve learned a LOT along the way about resetting my mood before it turns into a week of crying over Will and Grace reruns, not showering, and eating saltines in bed as my only form of nutrition.
And all of that has led to this moment where I tell you how to get into a good mood, Crunchy Betty style:
5 Little Tricks to Get You Back Into a Great Mood
1. Take Three Breaths to Remember
Quick, convenient, and oh-so-clarifying, this exercise works like you wouldn’t believe. It was shared with me years ago by Scott Kiere – a wise, conscious man if there ever was one. Here’s how you do it:
- The first breath is to remember to breathe. Just take one very deep breath and pay attention to how it feels. Right now, you’re just remembering to breathe deeply.
- The second breath is to remember to smile. Even if you’re forcing it, the smile works. Smile big as you breathe deeply. Smile as wide as you can. SMILE.
- The third breath is to remember to be grateful. As you take your third deep breath, look up and be grateful. For whatever you want. Be grateful for your children. Be grateful for your Starbucks. Be grateful for just being.
Sometimes it takes a few “three breaths” to really kick in. But when it does, you’ll know it. The breaths get easier. The smile gets real. And when you get yourself into a space of gratitude, all that’s ailing you just falls away. And even if your troubles aren’t gone, they’re so faint.
Try it! Try it right now. Tell me you don’t feel just a little bit lighter and happier.
2. Write a Quick-As-You-Can Gratitude List
You don’t need a fancy journal or even a clean sheet of paper to do this one. Just grab whatever scrap is near you and, as quickly as you can, write down 5 things you’re grateful for at the moment. When you shift your brain away from the poor-me’s, the poor-me’s get all huffy and go away. Nothing gets you there faster than being grateful.
And you know what? These things can be anything, even if you think they’re trivial and stupid, as long as you’re truly grateful, it’s going to work.
Here’s a list I just wrote in 20 seconds: I’m grateful for my baby kitten’s purrs, this blog, fresh mozzarella, the library’s online renewal system, and 60-degree weather.
See how easy it is?
3. Do Something Weird on a Whim
I took the above picture in Lowe’s after getting irritated with Fiance for taking so long. As he was mulling over the stupid size of screws, I rearranged the letters into a word that would make me happy – and hopefully the next person who walked past (I can’t speak for the poor Lowe stockpeeps). I figure it could have been worse.
I do weird stuff all the time, because it makes me laugh a lot. And I hope that the people who come across my weird stuff laugh, too. That’s kinda the point. Here are just a few whimsical weird things I’ve done to help kick a bad mood:
- In the bathroom stalls where I’ve worked, I’ve hung notes that say: “Happy evacuations!” and “Whatever you do, don’t look down.” And I’ve planted suction-cup toy monsters on the toilet seats.
- At the mall, I’ve tucked plastic army guys in strategic places around the food court.
- My friend Ashley and I went for a walk in town with a basket of sea shells (I’m in Colorado, so the sea is very far away) and left them all around for children to find.
There’s just something about weirdness left for other people that brightens my mood exponentially. Surprised?
4. Go For a Walk – With Your Camera
And take at least three pictures of ANYTHING that strikes you as beautiful, quirky, or out of the ordinary. The act of walking, alone, will brighten your spirits. But taking time to really notice your surroundings and their intricacies pulls you outside of your poor cranky head long enough to jolt you back into a good mood.
Now, you could take a walk without your camera with the intention of noticing your surroundings, but I find that taking pictures leaves me with no excuse to just keep walking past the trash-can filled to the brim with umbrellas or the word “Joy” scrawled in chalk on the brick wall.
The camera forces you to look – really look – at what’s around you. Even if you never do anything with the pictures, you were there–present and alert and out of your head–for a brief moment in time.
And that brief moment in time is what’s going to jolt you back into a good mood.
5. Mush an Animal
I mean it. Mush one. Don’t just pet it. Pick up your dog or cat and mush it. Squish it. Love it. Rub your face all up in the back of its head.
I may be blessed with ease here, because my big cat is VERY mushable and pliable and tolerates my squeezing and loving pretty well. He does sigh a lot, though. But, deep down inside, I know he loves it as much as I do.
I’m not sure I would recommend this with fish or parakeets, but if you have a mushable animal, try it. I guarantee it’ll make you feel very, very, very happy.
And if you don’t have a pet at all? Mush your mate. Mush your friend. Mush something warm and alive. Mush until you feel the love bubbling up into your brain.
What Dissolves Your Funk?
What about you? Do you have any little tricks you use to get out of a bad mood and into a shiny, happy, new one?
Let me know!
I’m always open to broadening my good mood repertoire.
Fennel Gives You Uncommonly Beautiful Gifts!
THANK YOU FOR THIS! seriously had the worst day ever, but now it doesnt seem as bad. the three breaths thing is something that i am so going to use in the future, it works!
You are THE BEST!! I love this post and I’m going to share it with everyone I know. Thank you.
So glad you linked to this in a recent entry. It is nice to know that even Crunchy Betty deals with the blues sometimes. I like your ideas for dealing with them too. Thanks for sharing.
I love, LOVE, love this post. I used to do things like going around taking pictures of random things (You should see the archives of brick and cloud photos I have), and this article has made me realize how much I miss it. and I ADORE the idea of leaving things for other people to find. (I will definitely be copying you the next time I visit the local Lowes store, haha!) Sometimes you just have to stop and think about the things that make you happy to bring you back to your “Happy Place.” Personally cooking mixed with good dancing music does it for me these days. 🙂 (Having a house filled with people to eat it afterwards definitely helps with the whole gaining weight problem that comes with. ;]) <3 (told u i'd comment again!)
~ Allie-Bo-Bally <3
I love this post.
Let’s see…
Yes, cuddling the cats (when they’ll let me).
Being silly with friends on twitter.
Laughing with Himself.
We laugh a lot.
I love that.
Best medicine and all.
As usual, your timing is impeccable! All your tips are so helpful. I especially love the weird-on-a-whim idea. The animal mushing makes me miss my old fur ball though.
Nowadays, I write down five things I’m thankful for at the end of each day until I’m past the blue-meanies. It really puts things into perspective. Happy peppy music and funny movies help too. And colored sprinkles on baked treats always go a long way toward lifting my mood.
I love how you focus on small things that are attainable. Being happy because of the small stuff. This is a great article. I wish I could get my whole family to read it and take on the message. We might all live a little longer!
Do one thing – teach them all the three breaths. I swear by it.
One thing I’m trying very, very hard to instill in my son is the sense of gratitude. It’s so hard to be cranky or mean or angry when you’re feeling grateful about something else.
Ooh, you know what? There’s this product (I can’t find it to save my life right now) that monitors your heart rate and somehow (scientifically) tells you when you’re in a space of gratitude. And you wear it and try to maintain that for as long as you can.
I was going to say you could get one for your family, but I suppose it would help if I could remember what it’s called.
It’s the coolest thing, though. I messed around with Scott’s (the guy I mentioned in the article) for a while and it made me feel soooo good.
I love the deep breathing and having each breath mean something. I have 3 reasons to take deep breaths around here a lot. I’m all about the exercise. I like to run. I love walking-alone- and the camera is a great idea. I’ll have to try that.
See, THAT is what I love about that exercise so much. It combines three things that “people” tell you to do to destress or get in a good mood. Three very effective things, even.
And when you combine them all into one thing, it’s like … I dunno. It’s like you get this triple shot of goodness all at once, and there’s no way you can still feel icky after that (for a little while, anyway).
That library online system has changed my life in 100 good ways. I’m learning that figuring out what has gotten me in a bad mood to be a really good way to diffuse my grump. Because that one thing is usually pretty solvable.
Right? I’ve rechecked out my books twice now (nevermind the library is three blocks away) because I’m too lazy to take them back. I think I’ve hit my limit, though.
It’s definitely important to figure out why you’re in a bad mood – I’m not sure you can prevent it from happening again for the same reason if you don’t.
My problem is, I’m a dweller. I’ll figure it out, and then I’ll dwell on it for another two days, which inevitably leads to guilt for dwelling.
Yet another vicious circle.
Oh yeah. PISH!
Really, Betty, what does this post have to do with natural beauty?
Oh…wait a minute…maybe because HAPPY PEOPLE ARE JUST INHERENTLY NATURALLY BEAUTIFUL, could that be it?
Awesome post–I especially love the leaving things around for children to find. (And fresh mozzarella) Have a good mood-y day!
Jenn
So, I actually wrote this post to support a campaign for the Nature Made SAMe blogging gig that’s going around, and then I changed my mind about doing it at the last minute. I loved this post so much, though, I couldn’t let it just disappear.
And you are SO right. Happy people ARE inherently beautiful! I wanted to write a post just about that sometime, too – and now I’m double inspired to do so.
Mwah!
“Mush your mate” is now my new motto, thank you.
Haha! I see a T-shirt in the future here.
And if you don’t have pen and paper readily available to write a quick as you can gratitude list, there’s always counting your blessings 🙂 You can do those mentally or verbally for a quick left in countenance.
Absolutely! I like to write them down, because it gives me a little extra push to actually consciously think about them, y’know? I’ve noticed when I just try to run over a list in my head, I sort of forget too soon that I’m being grateful.
I used to keep a gratitude journal that I’d write in every morning, too.
Ah, those were happy days.
Ah yes. Now we’re all stuck on screens! iPods, iPhones, laptops, cell phones and more. Who uses pen and paper? And yet all this screen addiction is ruining our pattern of thinking
I’m all about giving before getting. I bake and cook constantly – it’s therapy. But if I baked all the stuff it would take me to get out of a good deep funk, I wouldn’t be able to walk after eating all of it. So I bake for others. The sheriff’s deputies and court clerks next door to my office love me now (score!), and I don’t eat everything in the house. Double win.
Also, I clean. But only when my husband’s not home.
Also, I ♥ the ‘mushable animal’ tip. I have three dogs and all of them put up with my mushing pretty well. My retriever mix, however, is the best. He basically turns into a stuffed animal whenever I love on him.
Shoot. You wanna be my neighbor? Heh.
That is SO nice of you – and I totally agree that doing something nice for someone else is one of the best ways to get out of a bad mood.
I’ve always wanted to be like you – baking things for other people. You’ve inspired me, though. We have a lot of homeless hippies in town right now, and this weekend I’m going to bake cookies and pass them out to all of them.
Thank you!
I love the deep breathing exercise. I’m going to use that. I tend to be a wallower sometimes and it’s very hard to shake it at times.
I usually wallow when I’m not exercising, so that’s the surefire way for me to snap out. Or baking a dessert. Only problem with that is, then I eat it all, and then I wallow about that…you get the picture. Vicious circle 🙂
Haha. I get the vicious circle. There were several I left out (for brevity’s sake) but one of them was totally going to be “do something naughty” (like eat a dessert you baked … or, you know, whatev) and then don’t let yourself feel guilty about it.
Do the breathing, definitely! It’s gotten me through so many funks, I couldn’t even count. The best thing about it is that after you’ve conditioned yourself with it long enough, you really only need to THINK about the three breaths sometimes, and you snap out of your funk.