Today we’re going to try something wholly different.
It’s a two-parter, which is why I’m getting a jump on things. The second part of this exercise will happen Monday afternoon at some point. I want as many people to participate in part 1, before we move to part 2.
I know it’s so very tempting to blow off these kinds of things when you see them online. It may seem fluffy and unecessary in your life right now. Please understand …
This is important.
Please participate. Not for me. For you. And if you can’t participate for you, do it for me.
Please Prepare
Right now, find a pen and a piece of paper. Or open your text editor to a new document (from somewhere you can print). Whatever you need to do to prepare to write or type a small paragraph.
(The prettier the paper or font, the better, by the way.)
Now, clear your mind as much as you can while still reading. I want a blank slate. I want emptiness. Expansiveness. Openness.
Empty? Open? Good.
This is Happening to You Right Now
At this very moment, someone you love completely is walking up to you. This is someone in your life – past or present – who you think has the ability to do anything in the world they desire.
Someone full of light and love and all things you consider good. Someone you love with pure and unabashed unconditional acceptance. Maybe it’s your child or your husband. Maybe it’s a friend or a sister. Whoever it is, you love them. Fully. And all you want – the only thing you want in the world right now – is for them to be happy.
Who is it? Imagine them. Look at their face.
They are walking up to you with a forlorn expression. Their face is downcast and their eyes are misted with tears.
You feel concern. So you ask them, “What’s wrong?”
Their eyes meet yours, and their mouth opens to say these things:
“I just finally realized how completely ineffective I am. All of my ideas are bad. I cannot do what I dream of doing, because I’m just not good at anything. No one will listen to me when I speak, so I am done speaking. I give up.”
“But,” you say, “I don’t understand. What happened?”
They look down again and tell you, “I try so very hard to be perfect, but I never measure up to what I think other people expect of me. It’s just that I know if I speak out, if I give my heart to something fully, I’m going to be disappointed. And it’s easier to struggle in the weight of all that’s wrong, than to break free and follow my heart into what is right.”
You sit down together and take their hand, as they continue.
“Honestly, I’m just not good enough. Like I said, my ideas are worthless and no one will ever listen to me. I’m too busy trying to keep up with being accepted to accept myself, so I’m done. But if you want to try to convince me otherwise, I’m open to listening.”
“I need a friend right now. I need your love. Please help me understand my worth.”
And with that, this person – this beautiful, love-filled person – squeezes your hand and walks away.
So you take out your piece of paper.
(That’s right, take it out.)
Write This Person a Short Letter
Please, with all of your heart, write the person you love – the one who just said all of these things to you – a letter now. Help them. Tell them what they’re worth. Tell them how they can change the world with their smile.
Keep it general. No need to go into personal specifics. Just offer open, radiating love to them (that you truly feel).
If you need ideas/inspiration, here is mine:
Write Your Letter – With Love
Please do this now.
Now.
Nothing in the world is more important than this. Right now.
Give your love to that person through a note. Keep it general. No need to dwell on specific personal points. Just give your heart to this person.
And when you’re done, please share some or all of what you wrote here in the comments if you feel safe doing so. Then print it off (if you typed it) and keep it handy throughout the day. Read it a few times – whenever the urge strikes.
You’ll be glad you did, when you see what the second part brings.
***And please, even if you don’t share your letter here, let us know you wrote one … just so we see solidarity in numbers. : )
21 Things You Should Know About Using Essential Oils
Thank you, so much for this. It doesn’t matter that it wasn’t written for me. As someone with bi-polar, I would like to say that if someone had ever taken the time to give me a letter like that when I was depressed and suicidal, it would have made a world of difference, and probably stopped me from (or at least made me seriously reconsider) engaging in self-destructive behavior.
Here’s mine…
http://nikkigroom.com/2011/09/07/give-perfection-the-finger-youre-more-than-that/
My dearest love,
I want you to know exactly how much I love you, and how important you are, not just to me, but to everyone whose life you touch.
There is a reason that everyone wants to be your friend, and why everyone respects and values your opinions. They are some of the same reasons that I love you.
There is a kindness and a light in you that I have never seen before. You make me a better person, just by being around. Your love and compassion help make my whole world better.
There is nothing that you cannot do. There is no obstacle that you cannot overcome.
You are my hero.
I believe in you. Your family believes in you. Your friends believe in you.
Everything you do, you do with a beautiful perfection that cannot be imitated, replicated, or explained. Even your screw-ups are done well.
So go.
Go live. Go laugh. Go love.
Be.
Be loud. Be happy. Be unapologetic. Be strong.
And I will be here.
For you.
I will be here for your triumphs. I will be here when you fall. I will be here when you hurt.
I will love you. Unconditionally. Without judgment. Without fear. For as long as you will have me, and for all the times after that.
You are loved.
I love you.
Dear Friend,
You are one of the most compassionate, loving people I know. You have a beautiful soul and you give of yourself to others whenever they ask. There is nothing about you that is less than.
There is not one person on this planet whose acceptance you need. You need only to accept yourself for who you are—good and bad—and the people who deserve to know you will be in your life regardless. Don’t waste time trying to live up to the misguided opinions of others.
You have a perspective and a voice that no one else has. You have a beautiful purpose in the world that only you can fill- you are the only you. I am proud to be a part of your life, to have been impacted by your presence in the world.
So, regardless of what you feel others think—or what others may say—I want you to remember that you are loved, you are unique, and that you are WORTH IT. Never let anyone discourage you from your dreams and goals, because you can achieve whatever you wish. I believe in you completely.
I am here for you always.
Love,
Me
My dear friend I wrote this for a very close and dear friend whom I’ve known for years.
My dear friend,
I just want to tell you how much I love and need you. I need all the love, laughter, advice, and support only you can give. You are priceless and worth more than all the treasure above or below the world. In all the world you are the only person I see and you are the world to me.
I always listen to everything you say because you are very wise and only speak when there is something to say. You are extremely talented and gifted in both word and action. Your art is incredible and thought provoking. You sketch both life and feeling into my heart with each new piece you create. Your art is alive because you give it life and feeling. The world needs this as much as I do. Never forget this is your gift to us all.
You are not like anyone else and have never strived to be. You are unique and wonderful in your own way. You do not bow to conformism and always march your own way. Why could it matter how anyone else thinks or doesn’t think of you now when it has never mattered before? You have met your lifelong goal to be a bright unique being so why give it up to satisfy those you don’t actually know? Is their opinion worth your misery? STOP measuring yourself by someone else! They are they and you are you. You cannot be them nor can they be you. You have to be you because everyone else is taken. If you try to be someone else where do you go?
I ask and harp about these matters because I know you are more logic – thinking than feeling. I reach to you using this approach because in the end you will go by it than anything else. Also I implore you feel what you do in your heart and see what that might be concering these things. Your heart is always right and is the most trusted to guide you. It will never lead you wrong if you will just listen and follow it. Get alone and see what it is also saying to you.
You know the only control you have is over yourself. You cannot make or control others to do as you wish. All you can do is live from your world through your heart and let others live from theirs. We are to be loving, compassionate, and show loving – kindness to others no matter their choices to do or not do the same for us. We are to look for the good and focus on seeing it. The glass half full or half empty? It is all in the perception of the beholder.
You are needed and greatly loved by me. I see you. You are worth more than any gem in all the world. You are the world to me. Know no matter what I am always here for you. That will never change because you are my world, my love, my friend, and my advisor in all matters. We have always been even before time was and we will be when time ends. This is the promise that is unbreakable between us. I remember it and I know you do too. My heart is your heart No matter what together forever.
I wish you much love and peace,
~nadimoon
Wrote my letter here…http://www.devacoaching.com/2011/08/23/go-with-all-your-heart/
Lovely exercise Betty, thank you!
Dear Sister,
You are an amazing person!
I know that you’ve had some issues for a while now, but that doesn’t make you any less incredible. Those issues have just been a roadblock on your path to your true self. You can and will overcome them because inside of you is a strong woman who will not be defeated.
You are beautiful, smart, hilarious, loving, goofy, entertaining, crafty, forgiving. You are an amazing aunt to our other sisters’ kids – they think the world of you.
Our family needs your bright, smiling face and silly sense of humor. No one can replace you because you are unique and wonderful. We love you so much. You are not perfect, but neither are we (to say the very least!). We need you so our family can be complete again. We are not the same without you.
I will be here for you whenever you want or need me and I will not judge. I just want you to be happy again and will do anything I can to help. So many people love you more than you will ever know.
With all of my love.
Dear James,
You are the center of my universe. Your value to my world, and the world at large, is immeasurable, regardless of whether everyone else realizes it.
Don’t be afraid to choose a different path than what you think other want of you, no matter who it is. No matter what anyone else says, I am convinced that where ever you walk, the ground sprouts flowers behind you. And even if it doesn’t, I will be there to hold your hand, and walk alongside you, into whatever is ahead. Perhaps it’s into Eden; perhaps it’s off a cliff. Either way, I will walk it with you. You’re a strong, beautiful, loving, kind and honest, walking miracle. You are the greatest treasure I have ever had the dumb luck to stumble across and in making me a part of your life, you’ve made my life–and me, as a person–worlds better.
Never forget that you are my hero.
I follow my heart by walking with you. So follow yours, and let’s spend the rest of our lives finding out where it leads.
Dear You,
Do you know that God is particularly fond of you? That He created you with a specific set of talents and abilities. A custom mix designed to bring light and life to the exact area and time that you are living in? Do you know God is particularly fond of you and that He looks down on you and smiles? He sees you, struggling through, trying and trying and trying, and occasionally looking up at the heavens and wondering if you’re doing things right. God doesn’t expect you to succeed, He expects you to trust Him enough to obey. Even if obeying Him looks ridiculous and doesn’t make sense. He doesn’t want you to stand at the edge of the cliff, He wants you to close your eyes and jump right into that open expanse that is big enough for His hands to catch you.
Do you know that the God who made the universe and molded the earth with great care also looks at you and wants to mold and shape you into the person you were meant to be? Do you know that God cherishes you?
Every good and perfect gift comes down from the Father of Lights, who never changes and has no turning. You are a gift from God to me. And I delight in you, and I thank God for you, precious one.
Dearest One,
You have my unconditional love until I take my final breath. Step out of the box you are in and passionately look at your talents, as they are many. Your true box is like one filled with many matches. You have the power to ignite any one and become the sparkling ember that is meant to burn bright. You have a major decision to make. Are you going to accept yourself as an imperfect human being (like all humans) and discover joy in your life or are you going to choose to live your life for everyone except yourself? The latter sounds boring, hopeless, and downright sad. YOU must love yourself as much as I love you to overcome this negativity. My soul aches for you, your touch, your dry humor, your smile, and that certain way you look at me when our eyes meet. If there was ever a situation that meant your life or mine, I would take the bullet . . . drink the poison. I beg you to choose living and loving because we have a whole lot of that to do in our lifetime. Know that I am here to help you in any way that I can. Your perfectionistic nature not only withers your being, but suffocates our relationship. Come to me, take my hand, and let’s grow old together as we walk a highway of peace. Someone said, when you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others. It’s time to recycle the box!
I wrote my letter to my ex-boyfriend who I will probably always love, but is no longer in my life. He was my best friend and I miss him terribly every single day. I suppose that sometimes circumstances in life make it too difficult for someone to take a chance to open up to love … but I wish more than anything that I could convince him otherwise.
Sad thing is, I feel like the “someone you love” in this scenario could be me. I have lost hope after losing my job and being unable to find another, losing my boyfriend and being unable to go on without him. In a way, when I read some of the above letters, I felt like they were written to me. I’m not sure how to be stronger or how to believe in myself (or the world) more, but I’m willing to try.
My Dearest Love,
You have the heart of an angel. The impact you have on so many people are so far and wide beyond what you could yourself imagine.
Though we live in a place and time where people do not value or acknowledge those who MEAN something or changed their life for the better.
I know your value.
You have helped so many people in the most darkest of moments. Your worth can’t be measured in words. But I know God’s heart sings every time you awake each morning. You are perfect in all you do and say, it comes from a place so deep inside you of truth and willingness to help.
Do not let yourself be dimmed by the tarnished reflections of others and this earthly place. Stand proud and walk strong. For I see the light, so bright within and around you.
Love and Blessings,
Stephanie
I just read this exercise on my phone, in the parking lot at the grocery store. While,I don’t have a pen handy, the idea is beautiful, and I will buy a town in the store!
Dear sister,
You inspire me. No, really, you do. You’ve accomplished so much in the last few years, and I’m absolutely astonished by it all. You’re a strong, beautiful, brave young woman who is on the road to success. I know there have been a lot of bumps along the way, and there are probably going to be many more, but you know what? I have so much confidence in you, that you’re going to kick the butts of anyone who gets in your way. You’re amazing.
And one more thing, kid. I love you. I love you not because you’re my sister and I’m supposed to, but because I chose to. I’m so happy we decided to let each other into our lives, to love and grow together now that we’re both out on our own. Getting to know you has been one of the best choices I’ve made, and I am so proud to tell people we’re related.
Love always,
Your older sister
I wrote one…but it’s private. Thank you for this idea. <3
“…I leave you with one of my favorite borrowed quotations, attributed to Max Ehrmann: Be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. You have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams; it is still a beautiful world…”
My letter is really too personal to post here, but I will say that I bawled like a baby while I wrote it and long after I reread it many times. I was afraid that my own pain would show through. But I managed to write something that I know this person needs to hear right now, and that I love that person so much that I had to try to be on the outside looking in. This was hard but very fulfilling.
Wow… you always strike it home. I’m writing one. (Can I, uh, write myself one of these letters too?) 🙂 {{Hugs}}
“…Please never doubt yourself. You are amazingly wonderful and no one else can voice your ideas but you. Believe in yourself, love yourself like I love you. You can do anything, but please, do what makes you HAPPY because all I want is for you to be happy. I LOVE YOU…”
🙂
Dear Betty,
My note is for you. Thank you for writing and sharing your sad magnet posting. I sent the link to it to a person very dear to me who was in the situation you described, and it helped her. Also, thank you for all the wonderfully positive things you are doing to try and make this planet a better place. You ARE touching people around the world. Hugs from Denmark.
I won’t be able to write this thing until the afternoon (First day of classes, hurrah!) but I’m so doing it.
Dear friend,
You are amazing. Amazonian, strong, beautiful of soul and body. You don’t need the world’s validation for me, for you, for anyone to recognize the grace and power that you hold.
But for that strength and beauty of character to shine through, you need to recognize it within yourself. You need not strive for perfection because you are perfect just as you are. Don’t concentrate on your flaws, because everyone has them. Focus on your numerous strengths instead, and don’t give in to the criticisms and expectations of others.
Never give up hope. No matter how bad things get, I believe that you have the power to improve your situation. Believe in your goals and dreams because no matter how small they are, one day you will be able to count your successes.
Lastly, I believe in you. The world may seem scary and vicious at times, but dealing with conflict is what brings out your true inner light. And I hope that my love and support is enough to help you believe in yourself. Because if anyone deserves to walk around with their chin held high, radiating confidence, it’s you.
Be brave. Be beautiful. Go show ‘em.
Love always.
This letter is to my sister who is very dear to me. As her birthday is tomorrow, she has been on my mind. But also, she has been quite depressed and sad, so I wrote this letter to help her believe in herself and know that she is not a failure.
<3
Dear Friend,
You are a special kind of person. In this world where war somewhere in the world seems almost normal, and frightening, terrifying things are happening in the world around and in the world near you, at home and at school, you shine among those people.
You don’t have it the hardest there is, but nor do you have it the easiest. But what’s amazing is that you’re managing to fight through your own personal challenges. To me, every single time you get through another challenge, I might as well feel as if you’ve won the Nobel Prize the amount of proudness I feel is so immense.
Even when it’s something that I myself might have wanted to do or achieve, I don’t feel the tiniest bit jealous. I feel so proud that I am related to someone like you, and I know how hard you’ve fought for every little thing.
Please don’t forget how amazing you are, because you could truly do anything you set your mind to. And I will always be there for you for when you make beautiful mistakes, and when you make huge breakthroughs.
I’m here forever. Promise.
(To my brother)
Dear Friend,
Life can be so hard sometimes — it can even seem unfair, but that is no reason to give up. You of all people have something so marvelous to give, it would truly be a shame if your voice were silenced, and your efforts ceased. Strength does not come from an easy path, and every un-attempted feat is failed. I see a bright light within you, which in my mind, makes you a star.
I love you.
I want your dreams to come true, your voice heard, and your light to shine.
Never Give Up. I believe in YOU.
Always.