“Sister, it’s not like we were singing Don Gato or anything…go eat some Hot Tamales.” – My sister, Facebook, May 9, 2011
This means nothing to you yet, but it will in a minute.
When I was a kid, my mother would sing the song Don Gato. If you’re not familiar with this happy little ditty, it’s about a cat who sits on a roof to read a love letter, becomes so overwhelmed with joy that he jumps around and eventually falls off the roof.
Then he breaks all the bones in his body, which are listed painfully. (Even his “little solar plexus.” Crimeny.) Eventually, a doctor comes and tries to save him, but he dies.
The cat dies.
You can understand how this might trouble a small child. Especially one who loves cats and has every intention of and shows a strong aptitude towards growing up to be a crazy cat lady.
My mother would sing this song, and I would cry. I would cry and beg her to stop, but she kept singing.
By the time she’d reached the funeral part, I was hysterical and I may or may not have run and hid in the closet while screaming “NO NO NO NO NO!”
It’s a fun family story. Barrel o’ laughs.
I’d forgotten about it, though, until my sister made the comment above. Say what you want about her tie-dyed shirt, she’s hilarious. (That’s not sarcasm. She really is.)
Fast forward to today, in a store with my mother and Skip, and after I’d fortuitously found a Smart-Car-sized bag of Hot Tamales, the subject of Don Gato came up. The entire story is then told, from my lips, to Skip.
(This might be a great time to interject that I’m probably going to get into HUGE trouble for sharing this entire story on the blog. And this is not a good time to be in trouble with my mother. I’m slated to spend 14 hours in a car with her on Tuesday. So … whatever.)
“Betty!” My mom interjected, “I think it’s time you let that go!” And then she proceeded to insist that she only continued to sing it outside the closet door because of the ending.
Don Gato comes back to life at the very end.
Whod’ve thunk it?
As a relatively bright 5-year-old who’d already seen her fair share of dead cats, I wouldn’t have bought it even if I’d have been able to hear it through the snotty sobs.
I get the impression my mom thinks I still blame her for something here.
Let me tell you a secret: When I was 7 I would replay Hopelessly Devoted to You over and over again on my Mickey Mouse record player and bawl my eyes out.
When I was 15, I did it with Love Will Lead You Back by Taylor Dayne.
And just last week, I did it with One Day Like This by Elbow.
Songs make me cry. They always have, and they always will. And I kinda like that about me.
I’m telling this story to try to illustrate a point, and it’s a big, important one.
The stories you carry with you from your childhood can either be used to make you stronger or make you a victim.
We all have stories from being kids that we think affect us to this day – but they only do so as much as we let them. At some point, we have to wake up in the morning and realize that this day is what we make of it, regardless of anything that has ever happened in our past.
The longer we blame our parents for our behaviors today, the less we’re able to be the loving, caring, expansive people we have the ability to be.
And in my mind, we can do one of three things with these stories:
- Cherish them and use them to make ourselves stronger and more resilient.
- Let go of them completely with forgiveness and allow ourselves to grow in the now.
- Use them as excuses to remain victims and stuck in stories that were over and done with years ago.
I know my illustrative story is easy, breezy, and not really rife with many emotional (or physical) injuries, but even if we were talking about something more serious here, those three choices would still apply.
Letting go of perceived parental pain is one of the tougher things you have to do in life. But it’s also one of the most important. Only when you’re ready to let go of your stories and use them to either make you stronger or help you grow will you start to realize who you really are.
And the Hot Tamales?
When I was 6, I ordered a box of Hot Tamales from the teenagers running the concession stand at the movie theater.
Only I pronounced them “tamm-a-luhs.”
The girls laughed and pointed. I almost threw up.
And that’s a story I still have to let go of.
Do You Have a Story That Wasn’t Funny Then?
But is now?
I love, love, love funny family stories – especially ones where, now that you’re older, they’re funny. Even if they weren’t funny when they happened.
Tell a story that you learned from, that you laugh at now, or that’s helped you become the person you’re proud of being today.
Anything to take the spotlight off of me now.
My mom is so going to yell.
—
Update 5/13: So I woke up this morning, called my mom, and she wasn’t mad. Just in case you were wondering. (Lesson learned: Trust that the people in your life are more forgiving than you give them credit for.)
But that’s not all.
I also realize that the real question I wanted to ask here at the end was this: Do you have any songs that absolutely, without fail make you cry?
More cry-worthy songs. That’s what I need.
Attack the Stinky Shoes
All great songs if you need a good cry:
“If you’re reading this…” – Tim McGraw
“Far Away” – Nickelback
“What do you say?” – Reba
“Wind beneath my wings” – Bette Midler
“Candle in the Wind” – Elton John
“Independence Day” – Martina McBride
“My Immortal” – Evanescence
“When you come back to me again” – Garth Brooks
“The way we were” – Barbra Streisand
“Two beds and a coffee machine” – Savage Garden
“It’s all coming back to me now” – Celine Dion
“Unbreak my heart” – Toni Braxton
“Wake me up when September ends” – Green Day
“The State of Massachusetts” – Dropkick Murphys
Songs that make me cry like a baby:
Broken Wings ~ Mr. Mister (reminds me of the first time my mom started to let go of her abusive childhood)
Because of You ~ Kelly Clarkson (speaks to the broken bits of my heart because of my lack of a mom due to her said childhood)
Hold On ~Nichole Nordeman (reminds me to always have hope)
F**kin Perfect ~ Pink (because what chick doesn’t need a self esteem boost)
Dear Mr. President ~Pink (as an out and proud lesbian whose parents have turned their backs, this one, just speaks to my soul)
Imagine ~ John Lennon (who doesn’t cry at this song!)
I could keep going but alas, I need to get back to work!! (I am a big crier!) I think the best story is from when I was around 7 or 8. My family went to Mexico and enjoyed a day of shopping. Upon crossing back into Texas, we heard sirens headed our way. No big deal right? Well….just seconds before hearing them, I had remembered (and announced to the car) that I didn’t claim the jewelry I bought and was now wearing. My sisters proceeded to tell me the Mexican cops were coming to get me and were going to put me in their prison system. All for not claiming a ring and a pair of earrings….for maybe $10. I cried for hours straight convinced that because they had seen our ID’S, they would be waiting at our house for me. Oh the agony.
Oh. also, “All For Love” by Sting and Bryan Adams. I don’t think I’ve actually cried over this song, but I think it is definitely a cryable one. lookie there, I made up a new word.
Ok, song that makes me cry: Amanda Marshall’s “I Believe in You,” but mostly because of the video. It’s just… my heart swells. The pathetic part is, it was one of the songs during my high school grad ceremony, which was ahem… ten years ago. It embarrasses me that I have such an emotional reaction to a music video, but there it is.
I comfort myself with the fact that, at least, unlike one of my sisters, I have never bawled at a McDonalds or Hallmark card commercial. I win.
When i was pretty little, my mom, grandma, and i were watching a live-action Popeye movie. In one scene Brutus (or whatever the jerk’s name is) bites through a wine glass. My mom had a special set of ‘wine glasses’ that were kinda small that i was allowed to use on some occasions for soda, milk, juice, etc.
Immediately after watching the scene i decided it was a terrific choice to emulate his action and promptly bit through my glass. suffice to say, i sliced my mouth up quite a bit and was sobbing while spitting out blood and little bits of glass for an hour or so.
They refuse to let me forget about but it’s funny these days.
When I was about 10, my sisters and a bunch of friends and I went to Baskin Robbins for ice cream. I was never very athletic or coordinated, while my older sister was good at all sports. On the way back, I tried to jump over a metal guard rail. I seriously injured myself. My sister (said athlete) thought I was just being a whiny baby, and made me walk all the way home, athough there were kids with bikes who could have ridden ahead. It turned out I had broken my elbow (for the second time) and needed stitches in my leg.
She got in big trouble. I got lots of attention. Funny now, although I am still a little bitter…especially since she tells her children these stories to make fun of me.
“The Long Road” by Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan and Eddie Vedder – a song of letting go, always makes me cry. I played it for my dog when she was dying.
The song “Times of Your Life” always makes me cry because it reminds me of my dad. I wasn’t there when he passed away and the song which was one of his favorites reminds me of how important it is to cherish every moment we can spend with our loved ones. It’s very hard to live with a kind of regret that doesn’t have any way of getting over or making up for.
Can’t think of any stories but you mentioned listening to Taylor Dayne…. Is this the same singer who sang “Tell to my heart”? I remember playing this song over and over again when I was 14-15 🙂
Puff the Magic Dragon always makes me cry. A few years ago my sister and I were driving somewhere and slipped in the old Peter, Paul & Mary cassette (okay it was about 15 years ago) and we were singing (bellowing is more like it) along until 2/3 of the way through Puff, when we looked at each other and saw that we were both crying! And then we cracked up.
hi! just stumbled across your blog by accident and I’m loving it! I’m the same way- songs always make me cry.
Your post reminds me of a line from a really beautiful Buddy Wakefield poem that my ex showed me. I can’t remember the poem’s name, but the line is: “forgiveness means giving up all hope of a better past”.
Think on it.
I always had cats when I was little. Scooter was older than I was; she was kind of my parents’ first “baby.” She always slept on my bed at night. One day, when she was curled up on my pillow, my dad put a piece of plastic dog poop next to her. When I came into my room a few minutes later, well…. what would YOU do if your beloved cat did her business on your pillow?
Dad, of course, thought he was freakin’ hilar.
My dad has been dead since 1999 (colon cancer; my dad would laugh at the irony of that), and I still have that plastic dog poop. I can’t wait to mess with my daughter so I can laugh just like he did.
When I was in school, I had the absolute worst time with math. I still am not math oriented to this day. My grandmother, on the other hand, is really good at math, and she can’t understand why I can’t just “get it.”
One night, she was trying to help me with my math homework, and we were stuck on this one question for hours. She could get the answer in her head, and I couldn’t figure out how she did it at all, or even what the correct answer was. She became so frustrated with me, that she took the text book and proceed to beat me black and blue with it. I had to lie to all my teachers about my black eye and tell them that I had fallen, because they kept asking, and obviously, I couldn’t tell them what really happened.
Anywho, it was really the only time she ever really beat me, and while I kind of hated her at the time, I quickly got over it, and now it’s even a little funny (in a morbid kind of way).
~Ness
My gosh, that’s not even remotely funny. That’s sickening. I’m sorry you had to go through that.
“Because of You” by Kelly Clarkson always makes me cry and always makes me mad a hell at my mom. Some things are easier to let go of than others.
Not sure I can think of just one. It was kinda looney tunes at my house. Still is actually. Hope your mom forgives.
Looney tunes makes for the best stories, to be sure. It’s so much more fun to have the crazy, slightly manic stories than none at all.
I just called my mom and said, “Don’t be mad at me for Don Gato.” And she said, “WHAT?” But then she wasn’t mad and she gave me tips on how to take better macro shots with my camera.
Crisis averted.